Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Valentine

*Reprise from my 07 Valentine's post*

It still hangs in my closet. I saw it again today as I was going through things to place into the box for Goodwill. I contemplated giving it away~ even took the hanger down to view it closer and then replaced it. I'm just not ready yet. I don't know that I will ever be. It's not that I think I will ever wear it again. I know that I probably won't. I really don't even like it anymore to tell you the truth. But I will keep it. It's what I had on the first night we met. The first night we saw each other in the parking lot of that restaurant. The night that you thought I wouldn't show up.
I chose it carefully. Black is always a safe choice for a first date. I added tall boots, sparkly earrings to go with the top and my signature lipstick color. I was so nervous. I almost broke off one of my well-manicured nails on the steering wheel ...tapping it on the way to see you.
The shirt you wore was the same blue as your eyes. I can't get rid of it, either. It still smells like you. I can see you in it, standing there with the biggest smile in the world on your face. I remember what the sleeve felt like against my face sitting on that park bench after dinner. I remember feeling so small next to you.
I remember driving home that night knowing that you were the one that I would marry. I didn't want to take that outfit off because I could still smell a trace of your cologne on the sleeve. I kept it on for a long time that night. I sat in the windowseat looking at the stars and thinking~ about you, us, our future.
I put it on again one year to the day later. We went out to the same restaurant that night to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. We were now Mr. and Mrs. What a difference a year had made. We became engaged 2 months after that first date, had a fairytale wedding and were starry - eyed and in love. We sat at the same table and laughed about things had changed in those 12 little months. What a beautiful change it was.
Here we are. 6.5 years, 3 kids, and 2 houses later. That same outfit still hangs in our closet. I can't give it away. Not now, not ever. It was what I wore when you walked into my life. There is no advice I would give the girl that wore it. No tips, no suggestions. Maybe I'd just like to tell her to savor every moment, for it only gets better from here. Maybe I'd tell her that she was in for the best days of her life. Maybe I'd tell her to slow down and enjoy it more. Maybe I'd tell her nothing. For there is nothing I would change about our life together. Not one thing. You are my perfect valentine, the final name in my appointment book, my future tense.
Happy Valentine's Day and
Much Love,


Joy @ SAH Missionary said...

So sweet! I love your new beautiful blog!! I'm so glad you're back in this crazy world of blogging!

Anonymous said...

Your blog looks *beautiful* Jennifer! (o:


ginny said...

I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I read this, and here I go again! What a beautiful post from my SIL!

P.S. Love the new blog!

Embracing my cup said...

I hope you see this! Please let me know when you do! I just read your comment on my blog, and I had to reply to it!! I wish you had come up to me in Kohls!! I would have totally known who you are!! I read your blog faithfully and prayed for you while your husband was away! In fact, I cried when he came home ~ so happy for you! I got to your blog through big mama years ago. You are an incredible writer! I actually read this post back in 2007! When I first read your blog, I hoped that you lived in North MS so that we could be friends. But, somehow I figured out that you were near the coast??? Anyway, next time you are up this way please let me know! It would be fun to meet for coffee or lunch. My email address is on my little home page thingy. Thanks so much for saying "hi!" Congrats on your new little one!!

Andrew, Audra & Drew said...

Hi there...a fellow Mississippian here (Northwest part!). Love your writing. It flows beautifully! Your husband is a lucky man!

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